In the innermost parts of my being all I want to tear my cloths and cry bitterly until God greats me clarity. When I embarked on this missional model youth journey I could have never amagenged that my family would suffer,strain and have to over persevere from discouragement. When I pray, I can't. The rage of frustration overwhelms me and all I want is to hide from the Lord. Why? Because I cant face him right now. I have rejected his heart. With all of the criticism that I have received lately about thinking mission-ally it has created a crushed heart within me. How do you regain a dusted heart? Only in HIM,the one heart creater, the only one that can create a better heart in me;period. Even as I sit hear I feel the healing of Christ filling me heart as tears fall from my face. Its so healing to cry ( I never cry) It must be Christ.
As I consider all that God has challenged Kel and I with in the past couple of months I have learned that there is only one thing I need in my life. Only one God one man..Jesus. If all falls(Like it has) I have learned that HE.. HE.. HE!!!! is all I NEED! Whats most important in life? I don't know what it is for you but I hope you don't have to walk in the shoes of brokenness and suffering to find out.
Love you all,
-JD
